Apples, Snakes and Bellyaches by Calvin Miller, 1990. When Saint Paul preached in Eff-ee-suss,A sleepy man named Ewe-tea-cussThought he preached redick-cue-less-lee long.As Ewe-tea-cuss was sitting in the window of the churchHe rubbed his eyes and yawned and swayedAnd nodded, dozed, and reeled and lurched. And feeling faint, he fell asleepAnd fell…and fell for forty feet.He […]
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!”“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”“Like what?”“Well … are you religious or atheist?”“Religious.”“Me too! Are you Christian or […]
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Joke: An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts […]
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A four-year-old and a six-year-old presented their Mom with a house plant. They had used their own money and she was thrilled. The older of them said with a sad face, There was a bouquet that we wanted to give you at the flower shop. It was real pretty, but it was too expensive. It […]
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Tags: mothers
10. Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don’t know where it’s been! (Judges 14:5-8) 9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons! 8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper! 7. […]
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An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. WOMEN AND BASEBALL If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base. — Dave Barry
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There’s a story about the mother of Pope John XXIII. She was an elderly lady, a simple and hard-working woman who lived in poverty all her life. Shortly after her son became Pope in the late 1950s she came to Rome to visit him. She watched as important dignitaries approached him, and how each would […]
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During Corona Virus Shelter in Place I know everything is bad right now. But I’ve been hoping for an Easter joke and I haven’t heard a Peep from anyone. This year all Easter jokes have to be inside jokes. How does the Easter bunny stay in shape? He eggs-ercises! How does the Easter bunny keep […]
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Tags: Easter, Easter jokes