How many __ does it take to change a light bulb?

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb? 10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they like the old one.

How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They always use candles instead.

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But they are still in darkness.

How many TV evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, 1000 must send in a donation today.

How many skeptics does it take to change a light bulb?

Actually, they won’t do it–they have no sense of urgency about the situation–they aren’t sure they’re really in the dark…

How many fundamentalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? THE BIBLE DOES *NOT* SAY *ANYTHING* ABOUT LIGHT BULBS!!!!

How many youth pastors does it take to change a light bulb? Youth pastors aren’t around long enough for a light bulb to burn out.

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw it in and one not to screw it in.

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?

At least two, one teaching and one ruling. There must be a plurality and parity of light bulb changers.

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb? What, change?!?

Well, it should require about five committees to review the idea first. If each is staffed with half a dozen members, that’s what … 30?

How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb? Seven on the Light Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board.   Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Committee Executive of 5, who place it on the agenda of the 18 member Finance Committee.  If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27 member church board, who appoint another 12 member review committee.   If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting.  They appoint another 8 member review committee.   If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a light bulb, and the congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a 7 member committee to find the best price in new light bulbs.  Their recommendation of which hardware has the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23 member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to Disneyland.  They report back to the Trustee Board who, then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change.  By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.