A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’ Old Man Dating A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: ‘So I hear you’re […]
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Julie Andrews Turning 79 – To commemorate her birthday ,actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was ‘My Favorite Things’ from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music’. Here are the lyrics she used: Botox and nose […]
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Aging jokes YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING OLD WHEN… SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A KID You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead. You can live without sex but not without glasses. Your back goes out more than you do. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the […]
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Bob Hope on… ON TURNING 70 ‘I still chase women, but only downhill.’ ON TURNING 80 ‘That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.’ ON TURNING 90 ‘You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.’ ON TURNING 100 ‘I don’t feel old. In fact, I […]
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