Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor. You can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.” I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” […]
3 Awkward Moments at Church It’s been almost three months since I started church shopping. “Church shopping” sounds so consumeristic. How ’bout this: It’s been almost three months since I commenced a holy quest for a community where I can love, serve, and sacrifice. Much better. But church shopping—er, community questing—has opened my eyes to […]
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Tags: aging
A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen. – Winston Churchill OH YEAH? QUOTES THAT PROVE HOW “STUPID” SMART PEOPLE CAN BE (submitted by Kirk M. at Digital Equipment Corporation) “I […]
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A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’ Old Man Dating A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: ‘So I hear you’re […]
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There was a doctor who went to get his hair cut and he went to pay for it. The barber said, “you guys in the medical field, you do so much for others; this one’s on me. The doctor put away his wallet and said, “thank you.” In the morning when the barber showed up […]
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My young son asked what the highest number I had ever counted to was. I didn’t know, but I asked about his highest number. It was 5,372. “Oh,” I said. “Why did you stop there?” “Church was over.” —Joanne Weil, as told by Mike and Amy Nappa, Bore No More! (Group Publishing), p. 7; submitted […]
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GIVING OUR WORST Around Thanksgiving a few years ago, radio commentator Paul Harvey shared a true story of a woman and her frozen Thanksgiving turkey. The Butterball Turkey Company set up a telephone hotline to answer consumer questions about preparing holiday turkeys. One woman called to inquire about cooking a turkey that had been in […]
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5 frogs are sitting on a log. 4 decide to jump off. How many are left? Answer: 5. Why? Because deciding and doing are not the same thing. Nicky Gumbel
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”Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.” re: Donald Trump’s comment that he started his business with a “small loan” from his father of $17 million. We’re blessed. Similar to this quote (butchered): The smartest thing the wealthy did was choose their parents.
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