Understanding Can Change Your Perspective

This is such an important principle; let me illustrate it for you.
Let’s say a man stumbles into a room where I’m giving a talk. His
speech is slurred as he awkwardly moves towards me. As he falls down
before me, he throws up all over my shoes. With garbled words, he
struggles to tell me how sorry he is. He then passes out and falls on
my feet.

Most people’s first response would be that he’s drunk, and someone
ought to keep bums like this out of the room. Most onlookers would
get angry. Others embarrassed. Some mad enough that they’d want to
drag this drunk out back.

Then I tell you one small detail that might change the way you
respond. He’s having a brain aneurism. He’s just displayed all the symptoms.
And that one small point of understanding changes everything,
changes your perspective, and moves you in ways that you would not
have moved otherwise.

Because we now understand what is happening, we don’t really care
about him throwing up, and we don’t really feel embarrassed. And the
stench and the behavior don’t bother us in the slightest. Matter of fact,
we are moved to help in any way we can.

Both these situations are similar to teens’ struggles. Their behavior
isn’t right, but the behavior is not the issue. It is a symptom of something
greater. And when you understand that their behavior is a reflection
of something larger, you will change the way you respond and offer
yourself to them.

Understanding and wisdom help you to see with the eyes of your
heart, to look beyond the surface, to discover that which is hidden
and unseen.
When Your Teen Is Struggling by Mark Gregston

p. 41
42 When Your