Well, 10 Best…THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN

By Dave Barry

1. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
2. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
3. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
4. When God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
5. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
6. Never lick a steak knife.
7. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
8. Your friends love you, anyway.
9. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
10. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

[forwarded by Nancy Gale] Mikey’s

HUMOR; MEETINGS; LEADERSHIP; AGING; BARRY, DAVE; TONGUE